


Choices

by Annerp



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Failed Relationships, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Sex, Keith is a good bro, M/M, No Plot/Plotless, Past Relationship(s), Short One Shot, Unrequited Love, conversating, shiro is bad at relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-10-01 00:32:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17234075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annerp/pseuds/Annerp
Summary: Keith finds Shiro alone at his own retirement party.





	Choices

 

Choices

 

“Shiro,” Keith greets as he hops up to sit on the wall beside the older man. He follows Shiro’s gaze out over the crowd gathered outside on the Garrison’s grounds, until he see’s just what the former paladin is looking at. “What are you doing?”

Shiro ducks his head and Keith can just see the slight blush that tinges his cheeks. “Nothing, just enjoying the party.”

“No, I mean, what are you _doing_?” Keith waits a beat, until Shiro looks up again and meets his eyes. When Shiro finally does, Keith angles his head and looks out at the crowd pointedly. Or more precisely, he looks out over the crowd at one person. 

Shiro huffs in irritation, “I’m not doing anything.”

“Clearly.”

With a frown, Shiro looks back over the crowd, making every effort to keep his eyes a safe distance away from where they keep wanting to stray.

“Why don’t you talk to him?”

Keith isn’t going to let it go, Shiro can tell. But he isn’t ready to have this discussion, even though he knows they will. It still doesn’t stop him from trying to deflect one more time. “I talk to him all the time. He was my subordinate on the Atlas.”

“That’s not what I mean and you know it.”

This time Shiro doesn’t stop his gaze from drifting over to Curtis. Keith is quiet, allowing him to gather his thoughts for the conversation to come.

He opens and closes his mouth several times, before he is finally ready to speak, “I don’t think I’m cut out for this sort of thing.”

Furrowing his brow, Keith waits for Shiro to explain.

“My track record with relationships isn’t….. great.” He falls silent, looking down at his hands and Keith allows him the time to figure out what he wants to say. The younger man knows that once Shiro has started, he will finish the conversation, no matter how painful.

“I loved Adam. I know it may not have seemed like it, the way I left, but I did…. I do. It was so easy with him. Being in the Garrison together. We were friends before we were anything else. And it just felt right. It felt comfortable. And that scared me.” He pauses and focuses back on Curtis’ smiling face. 

“I could see myself settling down and living this little life with him. And that was the problem. I didn’t want to live a little life, I didn’t want to give up my dreams and so I made a choice and I gave him up instead.” He pauses again. “He could have waited for me. He could have said he would have waited.” He laughs humorlessly, “I know it wouldn’t have mattered, I was never meant to come back from that mission, but I wanted to know he would have waited for me. And god…..that’s so selfish. If I had my way, I would have had him spend his life alone, waiting for a life that was never going to happen. Not with me anyway.

“He didn’t wait for me though. And I’m…. glad, I guess… I asked around, a little,” he admits, cheeks tinging pink again. “He was engaged when the Galra came. He was happy. He found everything he wanted, everything that I couldn’t give him.”

Keith shifts closer on the wall, until their hips are touching, hoping the closeness will be comforting in some small way. He pretends not to notice the way Shiro swipes at his eyes, or they way they shine just a little too brightly in the lights. 

He falls silent again and Keith waits patiently. He knows what Shiro is about to say will be painful.

“I don’t know what I was thinking, with Lotor. It was stupid right from the start. And I knew it. But there was something about him. He was wounded and alone and I thought I saw something in him that I could relate to.”

Shiro starts to wring his hands together, trying to hide the tremble in his flesh one. “He was…. A beautiful man and I didn’t have to wonder if he wanted me. He made his intentions clear the first day he was on board the castle ship. I should have been smarter, should have known he would betray me, betray us. But I was lonely and vulnerable and the sex was phenomenal,” he laughs, for real this time, blushing again. 

Keith barks out a laugh and slaps a hand on Shiro’s shoulder, “lets not go into any details on that.”

The laughter felt good, but it fades as quickly as it came. “I know he didn’t love me, but a part of me loved him. For what he gave me.”

“He did Shiro.” 

The former paladin looks to his friend, brows drawn together in question.

“He did love you. He may not have told you in so many words, but I know its true.”

Shiro hums quietly, “and he left anyway.” Louder, he says, “if he loved me he would have stayed. We could have built something. Together.”

“He made a choice Shiro. He made a choice based on what he felt he needed to do.”

“And it was wrong,” Shiro snaps. “He could have stayed. We could have been happy and he wouldn't be dead and I wouldn't be alone…” Shiro trails off, allowing his grief to overcome his words. 

“The choice he made, to leave you behind, it was just that. His choice. He made it, just like you did, with Adam. 

Shiro's eyes flash with anger. “Don't you dare compare what he did to me with Adam. It's not the same.”

“You're right. It's not. But a choice was made between love and ambition and the result is the same. You're alone and he's dead.”

Keith is intentionally vague on which _he_ he is referring too, hoping that Shiro will see his point. He does and Keith can see the light in his eyes dim at the realization. Keith looks out over the crowd and his eyes find Lance, talking with Hunk. His easy smile isn't quite as bright as it used to be, but it's still there, despite the heartache he endured when they lost Allura. 

"I think that when you love someone, sometimes it can be the scariest feeling in the world. The fear that you may lose them or worse, the fear that they will never love you in return.”

“Keith.” Shiro waits until the younger man looks at him before continuing, “I'm sorry. I knew. I always knew. I just... there was Adam and then Kerberos and when I came back....I just couldn’t.... I needed you as a friend, not as a lover.”

“I know.”

“No I don't think you do. If I had it to do all over again, it would have been different. We could have been more. And we wouldn't be sitting here watching every one else enjoy my retirement party,” Shiro says wryly. 

“Yes we would be.” 

Keith smiles when Shiro raises an eyebrow at him quizzically before admitting, “you're probably right. But we wouldn't be sitting here talking about might have beens.”

“We're not. We're sitting here talking about what could be.”

Keith looks out over the crowd again and smiles as he watches Curtis detach himself from the group he has been talking to and head their way. He can feel Shiro tense up beside him. 

“You have a choice to make Shiro.”

Before Shiro can respond, Curtis is there, smiling shyly at him. Saying ‘hi,’ with a slight dusting of pink across his cheeks.

Shiro glances to his side and see’s the supportive look on Keith’s face. Then looks up into a pair of stunning blue eyes and makes a choice. He keeps making choices that lead to lunch dates and dinner dates and late nights on the couch with hands and mouths exploring each other.

Sometimes these choices are simple and other times he is filled with anxiety. There are times that he doubts and wonders if he is doing the right thing. And still more choices are made that lead to him on his bed, legs wrapped around Curtis' waist as he moves slowly and gently within Shiro's body. There are choices that lead him to gasping out confessions of love as his pleasure overwhelms him.

He makes choices that lead him here, sitting on the same low wall. Except it is Curtis sitting beside him, their hips pressed together, instead of Keith. And he makes another choice. This one he is sure of as he places his hand over the box in Curtis' hand, “yes, I'll marry you.”

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this I'd love to know. If not, well, I'll try harder next time. Either way, there is no place for hate for any ships here.


End file.
